Togetherness isn’t about geography - it’s about intention

Togetherness isn’t about geography - it’s about intention

Our journey through the pandemic was a wild ride, and it gave us a completely new perspective on what it means to stay connected as a family. After being stuck in different countries for eight months—navigating the uncertainty, missing each other, and relying on virtual calls to stay close—we finally reunited and spent the next three years living together. That time together during the pandemic became a blessing in disguise. It gave us a chance to strengthen our bonds, redefine our family dynamic, and enjoy the kind of deep togetherness that we might have taken for granted otherwise. We got to experience daily life side by side, and it reminded us of the power of presence in those simple, everyday moments.

Now, as life has shifted again, we find ourselves living in two countries with our kids attending different schools. While it may seem like a challenge to keep that sense of unity, we’ve leaned into the mindset we developed during the pandemic: that togetherness isn’t about geography—it’s about intention. Even though we’re no longer in the same place full-time, we’ve embraced the tools that helped us stay connected when we were apart before. We focus on being fully present when we’re with the kids, whether it’s during school breaks, weekends, or over a FaceTime call. We’ve learned that what matters most is the quality of the time we spend together, not just the quantity.

This experience has truly prepared us to live a limitless life by design. Living in two countries with the kids attending different schools might not be traditional, but it works for us because we’ve designed it with care and intention. We’ve created a rhythm that allows us to thrive as a family, maximizing our moments together and continuing to support each other’s personal growth, even across borders. The lessons from the pandemic and our time living together have shown us that it’s possible to have the best of both worlds—building our own path, cherishing our togetherness, and embracing a life that’s full of connection and possibility, no matter where we are.

Connectedness against all odds

Toolkits and Rituals

To stay connected as a family, we also relied on our toolkit of rituals and shared experiences. We created traditions that spanned across both countries—like weekly family game nights or sending video messages between visits. These small but meaningful rituals gave the kids a sense of stability and consistency, no matter where they were. We also made sure to prioritize our individual connections with each child, allowing us to nurture each relationship in a unique way. In the end, it’s our mindset of adaptability, combined with the toolkit we’ve built over the years, that kept us thriving as a family, showing us that no matter the distance, we can always stay connected in love and purpose.

The Family Mindset

Our mindset was equally important. We embraced flexibility and resilience, knowing that while our living situation wasn’t traditional, we could still create meaningful moments as a family. Instead of focusing on what we didn’t have—like the ability to live together full-time—we chose to focus on what we did have: quality time, love, and a shared purpose. We approached each reunion, whether in person or virtual, with intention, making sure we made the most of the moments when we could all be together, and practicing gratitude for the time we had, rather than dwelling on what we couldn’t control.

Emotional Availability

This year, as we navigated the complexities of custody, living between two countries, and raising our five incredible kids, we leaned heavily on our mindset and toolkit to stay connected as a family. It wasn’t always easy, but our commitment to maintaining strong relationships and creating a shared sense of togetherness made all the difference. One of the key tools we relied on was intentional communication—making sure that no matter where we were physically, we were always emotionally present for one another. Daily check-ins, family messenger kids calls, and constant updates about even the little moments helped us feel involved in each other’s lives, regardless of the distance.

Our kids always remind us that “we are a unique family”, and recently, we sat down for a "What Makes Our Family Unique?" exercise. Their answers were both heartwarming and hilarious, capturing exactly what makes our journey so special. Here’s a peek at what they shared:

Asking this simple question: WHAT MAKES OUR FAMILY UNIQUE?

One evening, gathered around the table, I asked a simple question our friends Seth and Alyce Daley had suggested for family bonding: What Makes Our Family Unique.

The kids lit up, one of them got out the post it notes and started gathering all the insights, it was magic.

Here is what they came up with:

Who We Are

We do life differently. We’re not your typical family, and that’s something we celebrate every day. We’re a big family that stands out! Whether it’s our dynamic living in two countries or the way we tackle challenges head-on, we’ve carved out a path that’s uniquely ours.

Our Strengths

We think outside the box. Our adventures often push us beyond the ordinary, encouraging creativity and courage. We’re very adventurous—from trying new things to embracing life’s changes, we always go for it. And we do hard things, from navigating different schools and countries to embracing every opportunity life throws at us. We fly solo and do brave things, and that bravery bonds us even closer.

Our Superpowers

Our favourite? We’re very, very neurosparkley! It’s the kids' way of describing how our minds light up with ideas, and how each of us brings something sparkly and unique to the table. We’re cool and weird (and proud of it!)—embracing the quirks that make us who we are and never shying away from being authentically ourselves.

Our Blessings

Perhaps the most meaningful reflection from the kids is how we have more choices than others, and that’s very lucky.

They recognize the blessings that come with our unique life—whether it’s the freedom to explore, the flexibility in how we live, or the love that holds it all together. This exercise was a beautiful reminder that our family’s uniqueness is our greatest strength, and the adventure of life together is one we cherish every single day.